Apr. 11, 2003 - Still Sad

I wish I could make belive it didn't bother me. I wish I could just up and go away where I could start over and really keep myself protected...

I should build a great big tall wall and only let two people in and then I wouldn't hurt.

I wonder if the boy thinks that I am crazy. I know he doesn't understand why I cry. I don't even know if he wants to know why I cry like that. He just knows that he has to hug me, hold me and tell me, "sshhh...", somehow "ssshhh" isn't comforting, but I know he means well.

I have talked and I have yelled, I have boycotted and I have ignored but those are the answers, so I don't know what is the answer.

Agh. I have tons of things that HAVE to get done this weekend. I doubt any of it will.

I hate this weather