Jun. 02, 2003 - Scary Do Nothing Neighbor Story...

Two other entries before this one.

Do you know how scary it is to know that at any given time, the front door will fly open and DO NOTHING is standing there, waiting to tell me something? Do you know how I wish the fire escape was a more secure exit/entrance into my apartment? Huh????

Yesterday I got up, but due to the weather, I decided to lounge around all day. I watched Trading Spaces at noon and then While you were out. At 2, I decided to go to the store to get Carl�s (boss) birthday present. So I geared up for the trip and headed out the door. Just as I stepped down onto the porch, her door opens up and she goes, �oh, Jessica I have been waiting for you to leave the house.� (my stomach starts to sink and it aches�)

She wanted to tell me that Anne�s (land lady) nephew came around asking questions and looking for the person who had the keys to her house. (that is me. I have the keys) and DO NOTHING wanted to tell me that she didn�t tell him anything. This is good, seeing as though Raymond is s a crack pot and a regular at the local intake center. (Intake is where you go BEFORE you go to prison) Ok, so I feel that this conversation is over. NOT!

I was outside talking to her for over an hour. She asked me where my sister has been. She noticed that she hasn�t been around and made it a point to tell me SEVERAL times that my sister is pretty. She told me to tell Morgan that she should come by and visit her, regardless that she is mad at me. (UH NO. NOT TELLING MORGAN ANYTHING) then she told me about how her �friend� Gail stole money from her along with her diamond and sapphire ring that was a replica of Princess Diana�s, so she could pawn it to buy heroine. ( I fucking knew she was a junkie. I knew it the moment I saw that girl. I remember when they pulled up that day and Gail got out of the car. I turned my head because she was so ugly and I didn�t want to look at her and then I said to Todd, �oh yea. That girl is on dope.� Boy can I call �em)

So I said to DO NOTHING, �Do you know what pawn shop she took it too?� she said, �Yes, but I don�t have the money to get it back.� So I said the most logical thing I think I have EVER said, � Well, didn�t you call the police and file a police report? You don�t have to pay to get your shit back if they find it.� (doesn�t that make sense???) She says, �Oh, I don�t call the police, I don�t want to get her in trouble.� I said to the scary ugly lady who lives down stairs, �well, yea. I guess you could protect the thief, but what the fuck. Someone fucks with me, steals my shit, I am turning them in.� She changed the subject�

�Do you guys roll?� I said, �No. I have no desire to. I smoke pot and it keeps me happy. The boy has NEVER done drugs and he likes it that way.� She then proceeds to tell me about rolling and her recent experience with it.

I am trapped, standing there like a deer in headlights, wishing, and hoping that lightening would strike me or something�

Well to sum up the hour - long trip down psycho lane� Do Nothing was married for 24 years, she has a daughter who is 24, and she has three grand children. She doesn�t talk to her daughter, apparently she doesn�t� agree with her mom�s way of life. (I knew that she was new to the lesbian thing, I could tell. And she thinks she is being clever) She also told me that she is buying a Mercedes when the summer is over (going from a Pontiac Grand Prix to a Benz) and she will be traveling Europe during the winter. BUH BYE! She also told me that she is going to settle the rape case and she is going to get a half of million dollars! She said this like I don�t know that is equal to $500,000. So I said to her, �that is only $500k, you want to settle for that? If someone ruined my life the way you say this guy did to you, I would go for the whole enchilada.� Again she changed the subject. I think she knows I am on to her.

She then mentioned to me that she is having a cook out for the Gay Pride Parade, which she thought was on June 14! Dude this is the same day as my Ugly Hawaiian shirt party, this couldn�t be happening to me. No. I started to feel dizzy� She said, Wow that will be an interesting party. I said, �no, I can�t have your friends here with my friends. I sent out 50 invitations already, this is my birthday party too�� I was so sick to my stomach.

I finally left and called everyone I knew to see if they knew when the parade was. I have it narrowed down to either June 7, or the 21st. So I don�t care as long as it isn�t on the 14th. Her scary heroine, E-Freak addicts, manly lesbian, drag queen freakish friends can come over as long as I am not home. I am not a homophobic person, I have plenty of friends that are gay/lesbian�they just don�t identify themselves with it, it doesn�t make them who they are. They don�t do it for shock value like she does.

I think that covered everything. If I forgot something, I will add it in, but yea I think that was all. She is fucking nuts, tapped-out of reality. She reminds me of someone else I know too! Ha. Figure it out yourself.