Jun. 24, 2003 - Enough with the parties. I can't take it anymore

I am trying so hard to read The Order of the Phoenix, but it isn�t happening at the speed I so desire. I wanted to read Saturday morning from 8- noonish, out on the patio. That only lasted until 10, and then it started to pour rain. So I started to scramble around to get the cushions for the chairs in the house, put the umbrella down, put the tent away so Carrie could come pick it up at noon (she actually showed up at 10:30)�Just as I sat back down to read, the phone rang, then I had to jump in the shower and take off for Kaile�s birthday party. After that party, I had to go to my cousin Ashly�s graduation party.

Sunday I had no time to read either, I had to get moving first thing and head out the door to get ready for the Bridal Shower. The shower was supposed to be an outside event, so right from the beginning we knew there wasn�t enough room in the house for 15 women and all those presents�guess what. IT POURED! Oh my god�well this was a different and unique shower that was held wile we all sat around this HUGE dinning room table and Beth opened her presents. I didn�t get any help from Jasmine the other brides� maid, but I didn�t have too much room to work with and things were as organized as I could get them. Beth was TOTALLY surprised, seeing as though she told me that she didn�t want a bridal shower to begin with. She told me yesterday that she was so happy that I did that for her. She also wanted to know how the hell I kept that a secret from her! I told her that is why I haven�t been able to talk to her much lately, poor thing thought I was mad at her! I told her that every time I wanted to talk about the shower with her, I would call Sean or tell Kevin..ha.

The party planning for George�s 80th birthday isn�t going so well. Last night we fought, like screaming and yelling kind of fighting. I hate to fight with the boy in the first place; I especially hate fighting about stupid shit and even more so, family stuff. Ugh. I just called and apologized to Ellen for leaving last night the way I did. I felt awful knowing that I stormed out of the house and didn�t say good-bye. The whole thing in a nutshell is that I do things VERY differently than Kevin and his family. If I was in charge of this party, it would already be planned out down to every finite detail, but not in this case�they haven�t even picked a place to hold this event. It started out at the Country Club and that was what we thought we were sticking too, but Sue thought it be best if we have a backyard barbecue type party so we can have more people and not have to narrow it down, except a cook out for 150 people is going to cost us a fortune. I suggested it at the Fireman�s Club�but for reasons I can�t even get into here, which was not a good idea and so goes this wonderful battle.

This isn�t my family. This shouldn�t be my problem, right? Well the whole thing is that Kevin is as thick headed as they come and he won�t EVER say what he is really feeling to anyone BUT me, and his communication that he has with his sister is so broken, so she talks to me and I get pissed because THIS ISN�T MY PARTY and round and round�

Help, please�