Oct. 29, 2003 - Strange weather

I want to change my design. Soon. When I get around to it. Want to help?????

I had a dream about Jeremy last night. Actually the dream started out at a NA meeting, and then somehow subconciously I remembered that Jeremy went to NA meetings and how it bothered me that he used to do drugs. (I know that I have done drugs, but NOT like he did them. I have never used heroine...)

It is such a strange weather day. It is about 70-75ish out, pouring rain, thunderstorms and then high gusts of wind. I love it. If everyday was this kind of weather until spring I could live like that. Stay away cold.

Kevin didn't work at the country club today, too rainy; he did get paid though for 4 hours of work just for showing up! Good thing too, we need the money. We had to put new tires on the Bug today and an oil change. Christmas is right around the corner and I have no idea how to afford it this year.

I am still trying to work through the weekend events. Not sure where to go next. I hate that about myself. I have talked to a few people, but no one has the answer that I need. I know that it is impossible for that to happen, but I always want someone to tell me how to react or what to do next. I don't know why, I will probably argue with them and do something totally different, but I guess I look at it as a jumping off point.

I need to really start putting the rest of the house together. I need to paint the back room. I need to figure out what to do with the 40 pairs of shoes that I own and where to put them so they are not in the way.

One of the cats keeps shitting in the house. This is going to stop. I don't understand it. This has NEVER happened. It is gross. I don't deal well with smells, and I always end up gagging and then puking. So then I have shit and puke to clean up. I love when the cats, the boy and the sister just sit there and look at me...thanks guys.

I have to take Lou to the vet tomorrow. I am scared that they are going to make me put him to sleep or something. I love my rat and I don't like to see him suffer, but I love him and I don't want to loose him. Please wish Lou luck.

My first Brownie meeting is next Friday. I am so scared. Isn't that stupid? I am only a troop leader, why am I scared? I don't exactly remember why I wanted to donate my time to a room full of 9-10 year old girls who squeal at the top of their lungs. I hope they don't kill me. Seriously, I am frightened to death.

Well enough crap for today.