Dec. 12, 2003 - Update!!!!

I was going to cheese out and do the Friday Five for an entry today, but as it was brought to my attention, I haven't updated in eight days. There is a reason for it...I just haven't felt the need to write. Sure I have had things happen and last weekend was awesome, but I didn't want to write about it.

So today I will write. I will write about how frustrated I am that I have not received a bonus for this year. For the last two years, I have received a bonus the week of Thanksgiving and this year I didn't get one. Ok, that is cool, the boss was away on vacation that week (just like they are every holiday, and every other month)so I thought maybe I would get it this week with my pay. But no. So now I am so screwed.

I need that money for presents every year. Even with the shortened and condensed list this year I still have things that I need to get. I am not going crazy or over board, jus the essentials and now I can't do that.

I just called Kevin and I started to cry. I feel so sick to my stomach.

We have our tree up. It looks good. I took pictures but I have to find a way to post them. I will try to work on that this weekend. We put lights up in the window and I want to get out and put lights on the bushes now that the 2 feet of snow is gone.

Tomorrow night we are going to an Evening with Dave Matthews and Friends. I should be so stoked, but I am not and I think it is all this useless stress in my life. I know that once we get there I will have a blast. I hope we don't see people that we don't want to. RI is so small I am so sure I will see so many people that I don't want to. I haven't seen Dave in RI since 1995 before anyone knew who he was. I think this makes my 12th show. Nothing will ever beat the 5/5/03 show at Amherst College though; nothing.

Shogie is working a detail at the Dunkin' Donuts Center (aka the Civic Center) and he said that if I beep him (we have Nextel) then he will see what he can do about autographs and such. I am not holding my breath, but my oh my what I would do for a Dave Matthews autograph. I would rather just shake his hand and skip the autograph, but now I am day dreaming.

I had to shell out $160 for Morgan this week. Her windshield wiper motor broke on her car. Hey let's hear it for Volkswagen parts and the outrageous amoun of money for German Engineering!!!!! Good thing Bill Jr. works for a VW dealer. He got me the part and put it in for a great price. Now she needs a new radiator and wheel barings. Should cost another $500. I told her the "Bank of Big Sister" is closed for a bit, and until she can work off or pay me $295 (that is for the car this week, the money last week and the phone bill(not the cell phone, but the house phone))

I called my father and was like, "what the fuck dad. She is YOUR daughter NOT MINE and she lives here rent free, no bills and what not, I can't support her and myself. I have a mortgage. I need help here and fast. " He said once he receives his retirement checks he will send money. Read: No chance in hell.

I know Morgan isn't my responsibility, but she is trying and I know that, so I help her. If she wasn't looking for ANOTHER job (she has two already) and she just sat around all day, I wouldn't help her, but the kid tries. I remember what it was like to be 20 years old with out a pot to piss in. I didn't have a big sister who helped me, I did it on my own and I was $30 THOUSAND dollars in dept with more problems than Cuba; I do not want this for her.

I wish someone would throw me some money though. She has two parents, let them each give me $50 a month. I mean it isn't much, but it will help. It would cover the phone and water.

This trip to Ireland was thrown my way the other day. It is 4 nights all inclusive (well two dinners are not) airfare, five star hotels and guided tours for $469 per person. How exciting. I am sending out my passport stuff on Monday and we want to go, but booking has to be by 12/23 and not sure if we can swing that seeing as though I didn't get the bonus I was expecting. (I was going to buy presents with that money and not use the charge cards which are almost maxed as it is) Ellen wants to go too, so I think we will plan on the spring. But hey if we can go over there for under $600 a piece that is a great deal.

Please let some money fall my way, please Santa, Please.