Jan. 22, 2004 - $100 fight

I am so pissed right now and it is only 8:40 am. ARRRRGGGGHH. Seriously I look at him and wonder where his brain is.

I was upset when he came home with the $500 Kegerator. What is that you ask. Well a Kegerator is a 4.5 cubic foot college dorm room size (think the tall ones) refrigerator that has a Keg tap on the top of it to dispense beer from the keg inside this �special� contraption. Did we need it? NO. Do we even have the bar close to being finished yet? No. Did I get really pissed when I found out it was $500? YES. But ok, we had the money so no big deal. I turn my head and I ignore it. BUT I told him that we don�t just have the right to go dropping money like that on useless (and this thing is useless as the day is long) things when we need a new TV, a lawn, a family room, a driveway, a bathroom floor, the dishwasher, new counter tops and so on. He agreed.

Ok so he understood and agreed with me that the spending stops for a bit until we can get some of the credit cards paid off. SO what does he do? He goes out with Paul last Saturday to go �look� at tattoos. When he came home I asked him if he was really getting another tattoo. He said no, but he was going to give Paul $100 towards a tattoo for his birthday and Paul was going to give Kevin $100 for his birthday to have his tattoo touched up and finished. WHOA. What? I am sorry, I don�t think I heard you correctly dumb ass.

Let me start by saying that Paul has NO JOB. He hasn�t had a job in oh like 5-6 months. He is expecting his THIRD child, his cell phone was shut off last week because he can�t pay it and he hasn�t made a car payment because he can�t afford it and he is concerned with at tattoo? AND WHEN THE HELL IS HE GOING TO HAVE AN EXTRA $100 TO GIVE TO KEVIN? NEVER. So I say all this to Kevin and he says that I am right and he didn�t even think about that. I said if you spend $100 on Paul, then you need to spend that on all of our friends and our family. I remind him again about the bathroom floor and the new TV that we desperately need. I came right out and said, �No we are not giving that money to Paul.� He nodded his head and said that we would discuss this more (he had to leave for work). OK.

I have been bringing it up all week with him. He avoids it. Says we will talk about this later. Well I confronted him at 8:00 this morning. I said you have avoided this long enough and when are you going to tell Paul no?

He says, �Oh, well I thought I told you this, but um, yea. I already gave him the money that day.� *dead * I looked at him like I have never looked at him before. * steam coming from my body * I was like, �Are you fucking kidding me? YOU LIED TO ME FOR ALMOST AN ENTIRE WEEK AND YOU THINK YOU TOLD ME?�

I hate it when they pull that shit. �Oh I thought I told you�� BULLSHIT YOU KNOW YOU DIDN�T TELL ME. I was so pissed that I left. He was saying that he was sorry over and over again and this is the last time that he trades tattoos with Paul and he didn�t realize anything until he came home on Saturday and I said all the reasons why we can�t do it, except it was too late and he felt bad. BUT YOU STILL MADE ME BELIEVE THAT THIS DEAL DIDN�T GO DOWN AND THIS WHOLE TIME IT HAD. I asked him if he bought him a gift certificate or if he gave him cash. CASH EVEN! I flipped out even more. I was like, you do know that the drug dealer that lives NEXT DOOR to him is avoiding him because Paul bothers him too much for weed right? I said he didn�t spend that money on a tattoo, Carrie would fucking leave him if he came home with a tattoo, I said that money is already gone.

It isn�t the money so much. Big fucking deal, $100. It is the principal. We share money. It isn�t my money/his money anymore. It is our money. It is more the fact that he can�t look at his friend and say, �dude, pull your head out of your ass. Get a fucking job, be a man, worry about your CHILDREN first, don�t worry about a tattoo.�

So this fight of course leads to his usual standby fight, �I can�t ever do anything right�� Oh fucking pah-lease. Enough with that one, it is old already.

Yea all this from 7:30 � 8:15 am. Happy Thursday morning. Now I am at work, feeling like an asshole and I know that I shouldn�t and he is at home hating me. Fucking wonderful.

This is so unlike him. He is usually such a tight ass with money. I used to be the spender and he was the saver, now I save every single chance I can get. I hate fighting. I listened to my parents fight about money my whole life, this is the first time we have really argued about money and how it is being spent, I don�t like it. Not one bit. I have always said that I refuse to fight about money and if owning this house is going to lead to arguments about money I will sell it. No question about it. I will not be my parents.