Feb. 24, 2004 - Cigars and Cramps

It occurred to me yesterday that I am not going to smoke 25 cigars before they start to dry out. This means that I have to find the appropriate way to store them, but I don�t want to spend $$$ (as in a lot of it) on a humidor. So who to ask? Who to ask? Ahh. I will go to the cigar shop on Main St.

I went into the cigar shop with my box and said, �hi, I have these very expensive and very smuggled box of Cohibas and I need a way to store them so I can have them for a while.� Cute guy looks down, smirks and says, �Why yes, these are very smuggled (picking up box looking at the Cuban seal) and very expensive. Where did you get these?� Me, (grinning from ear to ear) �My boss bought them from me in Costa Rica and gave them to me as a gift. I told him I wanted one Cuban, well I have 24 others that joined the party� He smiled. We chatted. I bought a humidor and I was invited to join the smoking room anytime I wanted! (I was all giddy with glee) I also bought a bunch of empty cigar boxes for my collection. I think I am going to go back next week and see what else they have.

I got home last night and had to fix my computer, this cut into my �I want to smoke this cigar and relax� time, and then I felt it. It was creeping up ever so slowly and then WHAM! Full blown cramps and back spasms and I was curled up in a ball on the couch crying. I couldn�t even move off the couch to go get the Alieve.

I have been on the birth control pill since I was 17 years old because my doctor thought it would help with my cramps. Yea right, the cramps laughed at the pill. It got worse and worse to the point where I was having cramps even when I didn�t have my period. I went to three different doctors for different opinions, they all just said it is a part of life and I happen to have it really bad. Finally in 1999 I read an article on Endometriosis in the New England Journal of Medicine. After I read the article I sat down and cried I related to everything in that article so I called my doctor. I brought my article with me to the appointment and I sat down and cried. For years I was told that there was no way in hell I could have Endometriosis because I was only 21 years old, this was only found in older woman, and now I have an article written by doctors that says that theory isn�t correct anymore. We scheduled my exploratory surgery for the following week. We wanted to see what was going on inside my uterus.

Well as it turns out, I have Endometriosis, and a lot of it too. My doctor took as much of it out as she could, almost 45% of my uterus was covered in the Endometriosis and what is left is does have some spots left on it. I was told that the cramps would get better and STAY ON THE PILL. Well here I am at 27 years old, tired of taking the pill, tired of the emotions that come with the pill, fearful of the breast cancer and all the other risks of being on the pill for 10 consecutive years. I wanted a break, so I gave myself one. I haven�t told anyone not even Kevin, but I took myself off the pill almost six months ago. I was waiting and wondering if I would get �sick� again. It has been six months and I thought I was in the clear, but fuck me; last night my body told me otherwise. So fucking great, I get to go back on the pill. More tears, more weight gain and more stress.

Please don�t think I am whining because I am a poor girl and I get cramps. You have no idea how bad these cramps are, I have collapsed in stores because of these cramps. I have spent days curled up on the couch smoking pot, drinking green tea with heating pads just to make it go away. I will go back on the pill next week and wait. Wait and see what happens next.

Oh.how.much.fun.can.I.have?